


Phichit’s prank cam

by Nerd_Queen



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Bad Friends, Character name spelled Sala, Character name spelled viktor, Gen, God i am trash, Pranks, Scare Cam, Yurio is afraid of clowns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-01
Updated: 2018-03-09
Packaged: 2018-09-13 23:42:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9147208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nerd_Queen/pseuds/Nerd_Queen
Summary: Phichit pranks everyone whole livestreaming. 'Nuff said.





	1. Yurio hates clowns

**Author's Note:**

> This is my coping mechanism for the end of yoi

“Hey everyone!” Phichit said to the camera cheerily, grinning. “Phichit here! I’m sorry I haven’t been posting videos or livestreaming much, I’ve been really busy! Where am I now?” he extended the selfie stick, allowing the viewers watching the stream to see the view from his hotel room. “I’m in Barcelona! In the GPF! I made it!” He squealed, flopping down onto his bed. He saw the messages begin to pop up on the screen.

‘Congrats!’

‘U MADE IT MY SON!!!’

‘#soproudofmybaby’

‘OMG UR IN BARCELONA?! CAN WE MEET UP?!’

Phitchit giggled, feeling warm and fuzzy inside from all the sweet commentary.

“Aw. Thanks guys. And to anyone in Barcelona, if you drop by the Barcelona rink or the hotel near by, just tell them that Phichit sent you, and I’ll be right on down!” He said with a wink. “Unless I’m performing, of course.”

‘U CAN WIN GOLD I BELIEBE IN U BBY’

‘*believe’

“Aw, you guys... you’re making me blush. So, why the sudden urge to livestream? Well, firstly, I have some very, very important news.”

‘☆●☆’

‘LAY IT DOWN BB’

‘TELL MEH’

“You all remember my good friend Yuuri Katsuki, right?”

‘DUH!!!’

‘PRECIOUS MEGANE CHILD’

‘HIS EROS WAS HAWT’

‘HAVE MY BABIES’

“And his boyf- I mean coach, Viktor Nikiforov?” He asked slyly, watching the messages appear frantically on the screen.

‘Mm, love dat Russian ass’

‘TEH BOOTEH KINGGG’

‘they’re fucking aren’t they’

‘THEY KISSED IN CHINA AND NO ONE CAN TELL ME OTHERWISE’

‘PHICHIT TELL USSSSSSS’

“Don’t be fooled when the commentators say that the rings they’re wearing are a prayer for victory, they’re engagement rings.”

‘WHAAAAAAAAT’

‘I KNEW THEY BE FUCKIN’

‘VIKTOR X YUURI YASSSS’

‘OTPPPP’

‘MY CHILDRENNN’

‘Im ded’

‘I actually cant’

‘phichit u lyin’

‘o snap they legit fuckin’

‘nooo’

‘I don’t believe u’

Phichit threw back his head and laughed at the onslaught of commentary.

‘this can’t be happening’

‘OML WHENNNN’

‘omf they’re getting hitched’

‘Phichy u the maid of honour or best man?’

‘MY ACNE HAS BEEN CUREDDD’

“Okay, okay. One at a time. I don’t know whether I’m the best man or maid of honour, but I’m bound to be one of them. I will give Yuuri the bachelor party of his lifetime. I don’t know the date of the wedding, because Viktor said they’d get married once Yuuri wins gold. And while Yuuri is an incredible skater... the competition’s rough... I mean, I’m on the roster and that already makes things a little tricky for him.”

‘r u gonna let him win?’

‘poor bby ur stuck between ur otp and a gold medal.’

‘u might break yuuris heart of u win’

Phichit’s eyes darted nervously to the side.

“I know, I know. It’s a tricky situation. I want Yuuri to marry Viktor but I want gold so, so bad..."

‘my poor angel son’

‘wat r u gonna do???’

“L-look guys, we’ll cross that bridge when we get there, ok?” Phichit said quickly, preferring not to touch the subject of the competition. “Anyway, while I’m here, I thought, why not prank my fellow skaters? Coaches, friends and family are included by the way. You can tell me who you want me to prank, how you want me to do it and who with in the comments and the most popular of each category will be the prank and people I pick. I’ll Be doing this one after the other, so be quick with voting!” He grinned, awaiting the replies that were about to explode onto his screen.

‘Prank JJ with an air horn and yuuri’

‘YURI P SCARE CAM’

‘YESSS SCARE THE KITTEN’

‘YURI P SCARE’

‘SCARE THE RUSSIAN FAIRY’

‘prank Viktor by replacing him cologne with gravy’

‘dude wth’

‘BUT IT WOULD B SO FUNNY’

‘how is that funny.’

‘bc you’d have yuuri hugging him all like oh Vitya and then BOOM HIS FIANCE SMELLS LIKE FUD’

‘bro u need help’

Phichit watched in satisfaction as the comments appeared on his screen rapidly every second. There sure were a lot of people watching his stream...

“Okay! That’s times up I’m afraid. The most popular answer is... Yuri Plisetsky scare cam!” Phichit announced, feeling excitement bubble up inside of him. “I asked you guys to say who you wanted me to prank people with though... oh well. I’m sure I’ll find someone. I need to go find a scary mask. Until next time, Phichit loves chu!” He giggled, blowing a kiss at the screen before ending the stream.

“Okay.” He murmured to himself. “What is that gremlin afraid of...” he pondered, switching to Instagram and scrolling through his feed. “Who would know what Yuri Plisetsky fears most in the world?”

The username ‘Yuris_Angels10’ popped up on the screen, a photo underneath showing poor Yuri wearing cat ears and surrounded by a horde of teenage girls.

“They’re probably what he fears, but I’m not cruel enough to subject him to being eaten alive.” He mused, scrolling down.

He scrolled past the accounts appearing on his screen, ruling out who knew what and whether it was possible to reach them.

“Georgi... it’s six now, so it’s eight there. He’s on a date by the looks of it. Wouldn’t want to disturb him.” He wondered aloud. “Mila’s in the Christmas market... Yuuri wouldn’t know...”

The username ‘yuri_plisetsky’ appeared onscreen, showing a selfie of Yuri and Otabek on a black motorbike, the location tagged: Central Barcelona.

“At least I know where to find him...”

The username v-nikiforov appeared on the screen as Phichit scrolled down, a picture of Viktor and Christophe in shades and speedos sitting by the hotel pool.

“That’s it!” Phichit cried. Viktor probably knew Yuri the best out of everyone here, having known him so long. Of course!

Phichit leaped off of his bed, grabbing his gloves and hoodie, hurriedly pulling them on and running out of his room, bolting to the elevator and hammering the button to send him to the top floor.

“C’mon, c’mon hurry up! Can’t this thing go any faster?” He whined, jogging on the spot impatiently.

Ding!

The doors finally opened, revealing the vast Barcelona skyline and the glowing turquoise pool with Viktor and Christophe chatting and drinking champagne together.

“Viktor!” Phichit called, running up to the pool where the two older men where.

“Ah Phichit, come to join us?” Viktor asked, reaching for a spare flute and pouring some for the young Thai skater.

“Uh... no. I don’t drink. Not a lot anyways...”

“You can still swim.” Christophe offered, plucking the spare flute from Viktor’s hand and drinking from it. “Unless you’ve never learned. In that case you can just take pictures, we’re both too drunk to teach you.”

“I’m not that drunk.” Viktor snorted, splashing Christophe.

“Oh right, because you’re Russian and I’m a Swiss baby.” Christophe retorted, rolling his eyes.

“When did I ever say that?” Viktor asked, taking Christophe’s empty flute.

“Vancouver GPF 2008.”

“I was nineteen and very drunk. I said some bad things and made some bad decisions-”

“Uhm I don’t really want to butt in but I’m here because I need to talk to Viktor a sec.” Phichit said quickly, cutting off the potential argument between the veteran skaters.

“Oh, sorry about that Phichit..” Viktor said, grinning sheepishly. “What can I help you with? Is this about Yuuri?”

“Yeah. What is Yuri scared of?” Phichit asked, watching Viktor’s expression shift from friendly to confused.

“He’s afraid of losing people... well, losing in general, but more the concept of it than the real thing...” he mused, leaning against the pool walls. “You’re his best friend aren’t you? I’m surprised he hasn’t confided in you about his fears...”

“N-no. Not Katsuki. Plisetsky. What’s Yuri Plisetsky afraid of?”

“Oh! That makes more sense. It’s confusing having two Yuuri’s, that’s why Yuuri’s sister came up with the idea to call Yuri Plisetsky Yurio.”

“Okay. What is Yurio afraid of?” Phichit asked, hoping this didn’t take much longer. For someone so skilled Viktor was quite the airhead...

“Why do you want to know?” Viktor asked, climbing out of the pool. “Yebat, it’s cold...”

“My fans voted for me to prank him while livestreaming.” Phichit explained as Viktor grabbed the fluffy white towel on one of the sun beds.

“Oh. Okay, I’ll be sure to tune in.” He smiled, towelling his silver hair dry. “Now... what is he afraid of... hm... well I remember the time Georgi, Mila and I were going to watch Stephen King’s ‘It’ and he refused to leave, and It traumatised him.”

“Sooo creepy clown mask?”

“Definitely.” Viktor told him with an affirmative nod.

“Thanks Viktor!” Phichit called, running back to the elevator, heading straight down to the lobby, thankful that he’d left his wallet in his hoodie pocket.

Once it reached the ground floor, Phichit sprinted out of the elevator into the lobby, crashing into to something soft, or someone.

“Nē, sore o miru!” yelled a female voice, faltering when the speaker saw Phichit. It was Mari, Yuuri’s older sister. “Oh... Phichit-kun... sorry...”

“Mari! I didn’t know you were coming to Barcelona!” Phichit grinned, hugging his friend’s sister tightly.

“Of course I’d come and support you and Yuuri!” she smiled, hugging Phichit back. “What’s the hurry?”

“I need to find a clown mask ASAP.”

Mari looked confused, brows farrowing as she tucked a loose strand of dark blonde dyed hair behind her ear.

“Why?”

“To prank Yurio. I’m gonna scare him.”

“Sounds fun.” She smiled, nursing the thought of a petrified Yurio.

“You know a place where I could find one?” Phichit asked hopefully.

“Nope, but I’ll help you look.”

Mari and Phichit had spent the past hour searching Barcelona’s many stores and stalls in hope of finding a mask to startle the Russian fairy, and were having little luck.

“Ugh. This is taking FOREVER.” Mari groaned, dropping down onto the bench with a groan.

“Tell me about it.” Phichit frowned, sitting down next to his friend’s sister. “At this rate we’re never gonna pull it off...”

“Yeah... I really wanted to scare Yurio...”

“Did somebody mention a grumpy little prima ballerina?” sang a voice, cutting through the buzzing chatter of the marketplace. Phichit looked up to see a tall woman clad in black leggings and dark purple jacket, with excitable blue eyes and shoulder length red hair. This of course, matched the description of Russian female senior division skater Mila Babicheva.

“Oh, yeah. I’m doing a scare cam prank-”

“For your livestream. I know. Sala, Emil, Mickey and I were watching it and we took the liberty of getting you this.” She grinned, holding out a blue plastic bag. “Consider It a good luck gift.” She said with a wink.

Phichit opened the bag curiously, reaching inside and grasping the vermillion nylon curls from within the bag, removing the item from the bag.

“Holy shit!” Phichit gasped, staring back at the horrific mask before him. “That is-”

“The single most horrifying mask you’ve ever seen? I brought it along to scare Yurachka but I haven’t had the chance to... so I thought you could!” she grinned, bouncing on her heels.

“I was gonna say perfect. This is great! Now all we need to do is find Yurio!” Phichit grinned, looking at Mari.

“He’s in the tea shop a couple blocks east with Otabek.” Mila told them before Phichit had a chance to take out his phone. “They had to go back and pay for the date your brother and Vitya interrupted. They probably stayed for extra tea.”

“Oh, ok.” Mari shrugged. “Hold on that was a date?!”

“He was blushing and smiling, it was a date.” Mila shrugged.

“You weren’t even there. How do you know what he looked like?”

“Vitya posted it on Instagram.” Mila told them, holding out her phone.

“Mila! There you are!” yelled Sala, the petite Italian skater running up to her. “Don’t run off like that!” she pouted as her brother Michele ran up to her, Emil in tow.

“I mean, if you were gonna ditch us you could’ve told us.” Emil grinned, winking at the Russian.

“If you think about ditching my sister, you’ve got another thing coming you-”

“Sorry!” Mila laughed uneasily, hands up in a defensive manner. “I just had to give the mask to Phichit. Chill Mickey, we can go now. Bye guys! Text us when you go live, we’ll be watching.” She said with a wink, turning on her heel and walking away, arm linked with that of Sala Crispino, much to her brother’s digression.

“You ready to do this?” Phichit asked Mari as he stood from his seat, clutching the blue plastic bag.

Mari rose from her seat with a sigh, burrowing her hands further into the pockets of her parka.

“Yeah, sure. He’s gonna hate us after this, but there’s nothing katsudon can’t fix.” She shrugged.

 

“What's up everyone! Phichit here!” Phichit grinned, greeting the viewers as the livestream began. “Today I’m with Mari Katsuki, Yuuri’s older sister. She’s really cool and a super supportive sister. Yuuri is so lucky to have her!”

“Aw, Phichit. I’ll rooting for you too, not just my brother.” Mari smirked, nudging Phichit.

‘she’s so pretty’

‘I want to marry yuuris sister’

‘get to the praaankkk’

“Really? Thank you! Anyway, I asked you who you wanted me to prank, and you voted and the results came in, so right now, we are about to prank the Russian Fairy, Yuri Plisetsky, with a jump scare.”

“He’s gonna hate us after this.”

‘don’t scare him too much ok’

‘I can’t wait this is gonna be lit’

‘this is gonna be hilarious’

“So, what’s gonna happen is: we have tracked Yuri down to this tea shop, which,” using the selfie stick, he angled the camera towards the tea shop from the wall the were hidden behind before bringing it back to him.

‘omf is that Otabek Altin????’

‘holy shizzle that otabek’

‘r they on a date’

“I don’t know guys! Calm down, one at a time.” Phichit said quickly, in an attempt to calm the frantic commentary. “Anyway. Mari here,” He said, motioning to Mari, who waved at the camera. “Will be filming, while I risk death to scare him. We have this mask,” He said, lifting up the mask and showing it to the screen. “Courtesy of Mila Babicheva, I know you’re watching by the way. I’ll make you proud. And I’m gonna wear this mask and jump out at him.”

‘That mask is fucking horrifying’

‘damn’

‘that mask is gonna give me nightmares ’

“They’re coming.” Mari warned.

“Well, say goodbye to my face,” Phichit said, handing the selfie stick to Mari, who switched to the back camera as he pulled the mask on. “Its about to get freaky.”

‘pls no’

‘be safe bby’

‘he might kill u’

‘if he’s with beka then Phichit might actually die’

‘guys this was a bad idea he might actually die’

“Um, Phichit...” Mari said as Phichit got into position.

“Yeah?”

“Your fans think you’re gonna die.”

“Then it will be an awesome and valiant death. They here yet?”

“Almost... Almost...”

“... and it’s just so disgusting I can barely stand to be around them because they’re so mushy together.” Came Yurio’s sneer. Phichit could see him through the eye slits in the latex mask.

“Now!” Mari hissed.

Phichit leapt in front of Yurio and Otabek, roaring loudly.

“GRRRR!” Phichit growled, flailing his arms.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!” Yurio screamed, loud and Hugh pitched, leaping onto Otabek, clinging around the Kazakhstani skater’s neck and shoulders, shaking violently. “KILL IT BEKA IT WANTS MY BLOOD! KILL IT! KILL ITTTT!”

Phichit pulled off the mask, howling with laughter.

“Chill, it’s just a mask! Calm down Yurio.” Mari laughed, coming out from behind the wall, still livestreaming.

The teenager opened his eyes, seeing Phichit before him instead of the horrifying clown monster from minutes before.

“What.”

“We’ve been livestreaming the whole time!” Phichit grinned.

Yurio paled, letting go of Otabek and dropping back onto the ground, brushing himself off.

“This was a prank?! It was a sick, twisted prank.” Yurio spat.

“Don’t blame me, my fans voted for it.” Phichit shrugged.

If looks could kill, Phichit would already be dead with the look Yurio cast in his direction.

“Then your fans are shit.” He growled.

“Uh... we share some of the same fans.”

Yurio’s mouth opened for a response, but snapped shut as he clenched his fists and pushed past them.

“Otabek. Let’s head bad to the hotel.”

The older teen nodded, following after Yurio.

“Well. That went... well? Okay? Bad?” Mari murmured.

“It went according to plan!” Phichit grinned, running a hand through his hair.

“But Yurio hates us.” Mari deadpanned, handing the selfie stick back to Phichit, who switched it back to the front camera.

“Don’t worry, it’s like you said: nothing a good bowl of katsudon can’t fix.” He grinned, eyes widening at the sea of commentary.

‘OMF LOL HIS FACE’

‘poor smol bean’

‘rip otabek 2k16’

‘so much for a tough punk amirite’

‘Poor Yuri :(‘

‘u guys r so mean’

‘THIS IS HILARIOUS I’M DYING ASDFGHJKL’

“Well guys, this ends the stream for today. I’ll open the polls tomorrow morning at eight am Barcelona time and close them half an hour later, because hey, there’s almost twenty other skaters here and I’ll need to prank ‘em all. So vote quickly! Phichit and Mari out!” He grinned, Mari winking and flashing a peace sign at the camera before he shut off the feed.


	2. JJ ice bucket challenge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yurio gets revenge in the form of dumping cold water on JJ.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long. School is busy af. Too much homework.

“PHICHIT!” Celestino roared, causing Phichit to jump and almost drop his phone. “Get off your phone and get back onto the rink!”

“Ciao-Ciao! You scared me!” Phichit huffed, eyes still glued to his phone. “I could’ve dropped my phone.”

“I’m going to break that phone if you don’t get back onto the rink!” Celestino warned, beginning to lose his patience with Phichit.

“I’ll be a minute, I just need to open the polls and then I’m good to go-”

“Phichit. Listen to me. Even though you won gold in China, you are up against an incredibly difficult roster of opponents. I have no doubt in your skills but if you don’t practice then you risk failure.”

“I know I’ll be a minute.”

Celestino grabbed his phone, tearing it out of Phichit’s hands.

“Phichit. You will get on the ice now.”

“Hey! Give it back! I said I’ll be a minute!”

“No. I can’t risk one of my skaters losing. Not again. Every skater on that ice is a threat. Even Yuuri. He’s different from last year, evolving, changing and if you don’t practice right now, he’s won.”

“Fine.” Phichit said sadly, standing up from the bench he’d been sitting on since he’d tied his skates.

“I’ll give it back to you when we’re done. I’m just worried about you.”

“I know. What should I practice first? Figures or jumps?” He asked as they exited the locker room.

“Figures as a warm up, work on the spins after that, then step sequence and then jumps.” Celestino responded Phichit made his way to the gate.

“Morning!” He said brightly to Viktor, who was leaning against the barrier of the rink, watching Yuuri intently.

“Good morning Phichit.” Viktor greeted with his usual charming smile. “I take it the prank went well?”

“Yeah.” Phichit grinned, laughing quietly at the memory. “It was hilarious. He jumped into Otabek’s arms screaming.”

“That sounds quite entertaining.” Viktor mused, eyes still on Yuuri, who was practicing his step sequence, gliding skilfully on the ice.

“It wasn’t funny.” Came a growl from behind him. Yurio, of course. The teen glared at Phichit, stamping his skates against the linoleum floor impatiently. “It was completely humiliating, all you idiots bring me is humiliation. Now move your ass or I kick it.” He sneered.

“Do as he says.” Viktor hissed through grit teeth. “When he’s in a mood comply with whatever he asks you. He may be small but his kicks hurt and he still has his skates on.”

Phichit swallowed thickly, nodding and gliding onto the rink, skating towards Yuuri.

“Hey Yuuri is it okay if I use you as a human shield to protect me from Yurio because he’s scary and I think he wants to murder me because of yesterday.”

Yuuri stopped skating and looked his friend dead in the eye.

“What? No good morning? I’m offended, Phichit.” He murmured sarcastically.

“Please, Yuuri, he’s really scaryyy!” Phichit pleaded, clasping his hands together and pouting.

“You should’ve thought about that before you decided to prank him.” Yuuri chuckled, placing a hand on one of his hips.

“I didn’t though!” He whined. “My fans did and now he wants to murder me!”

“He doesn’t want to murder you.” Yuuri laughed, finding Phichit’s fear hilarious.

“He threatened to kick my ass!”

“I know better than anyone, if he kicks you, it means he likes you.”

“But Viktor said he-”

“Sorry. Hold on a sec,” Yuuri said, cutting off his friend. “Viktor!” He called over the rink.

“Da, detka?” Viktor purred after running to the other end of the rink, where Phichit and Yuuri were stood. “You miss me that much? Maybe you should stay closer to me.~”

“What did you say to Phichit about Yurio?”

“Well, I-”

“PHICHIT CHULANONT! I DON’T SEE YOU PRACTICING FIGURES!” Celestino yelled from across the rink.

“SORRY!” Phichit called, sighing heavily. “Sorry Yuuri... I need to get back to practice or Ciao-Ciao is gonna murder me.”

“Why does he hate you all of a sudden?” Yuuri asked, taking the water bottle Viktor offered him and drinking from it.

“He doesn’t hate me... he’s just, stressed. He doesn’t want a repeat of last year.” Phichit said without thinking. He saw Yuuri’s casual smile drop, looking at his skates as Viktor reached over to squeeze his shoulder, murmuring something Phichit didn’t quite catch.

“Oh... I understand.” Yuuri said dully.

“Nononono I don’t mean it like that! You’re great Yuuri! You were amazing last year! He just doesn’t want to lose another skater!” Phichit said quickly, flailing his hands about in an apology.

Yuuri put up a hand, silencing his friend.

“Phichit. It’s okay. I understand Celestino’s stress, and I know my worth as a skater. C’mon, I’ll practice with you.” He said, smiling softly.

A loud scraping hiss was heard from across the ice, followed by a thud and Viktor clapping.

“Well done Yurio!” Viktor called across the ice.

“Otvyazhis!” Yurio yelled from across the rink, flipping Viktor off.

  
“Rude.” Viktor murmured. “Well, I wouldn’t want to stop you from practicing, Phichit. Just try to ignore Yurio.”

  
Phichit nodded, pushing off from the wall and gliding, moving in a slow, graceful figure of eight, dragging his leg along as he traced the figure over and over again.

  
“No, no. That won’t do at all.” Viktor murmured from behind him.

  
“Huh?” Phichit asked, turning his attention towards his friend’s fiancée. “What was that Viktor? I didn’t catch that.”

  
“Your free leg is too tense and you’re dragging it behind you like a dead weight. Relax and let it glide.”

  
“Oh... Um, ok. Like this?” Phichit offered, tracing the figure of eight, relaxing his leg like Viktor told him to.

  
Viktor sighed, shaking his head.

  
“No, no. Yuuri, can you show Phichit the proper technique-”

  
“He was doing just fine before you intervened, Nikiforov.” Celestino said sternly, stepping up to the edge of the rink, hands gripping the barrier. “Continue as you were, Phichit.”

  
“Are you sure? No offence, but I kinda trust Viktor’s technique a bit more.”

  
“Viktor,” Celestino sighed. “I would prefer it if you didn’t sabotage my skaters.”

  
“I’m not sabotaging him, I was just trying to help.” Viktor shrugged. “Never mind. It was wrong of me to intervene. Yuuri!”

  
“Yeah?”

  
“That’s enough training for today. Get off the ice and warm down.”

  
“Oh. Okay. Sorry, Phichit.” Yuuri said sadly, shrugging his shoulders apologetically.

  
“What for?” Phichit asked, tilting his head slightly. “You haven’t done anything wrong.”

  
“I said I’d practice with you, and I need to go, so-”

  
“Its fine, Yuuri. If I don’t see you later then good luck for tonight!” Phichit grinned, waving to his friend as the latter skated off of the ice.

  
“You too!” Yuuri called, joining Viktor at the edge of the rink.

  
“Phichit! Figures! The short program is eight hours away! I need you in top form!”

  
“Got it!”

 

Phichit sat down on the bench with a groan. He loved skating, but practice could be gruelling.

  
“Ugh, another day, another blister.” He murmured grumpily, unpacking his skates and carefully slipping them off of his sore feet.

  
“Phichit.” Celestino said, walking into the locker room.

  
“Yeah?” He replied exasperatedly.

  
“Your phone.” Said Celestino, holding out the phone.

  
“Thanks.” Phichit said, taking the phone.

  
“You did well today, and I have no doubt you’ll do well tonight, but-”

  
“Don’t get distracted. I know, I know. I won’t. I’ll keep my eyes on the prize and nothing else.” Phichit grinned, unlocking his phone and opening the browser, heading to the polls he set up the night before.

  
Celestino eyed his student’s phone screen warily.

  
“Whatever your planning, firstly: I don’t want anything to do with it, and secondly: don’t do anything to stupid.”

  
Phichit looked at the results, a grin splitting on his face.

  
“Would you call asking Yuri Plisetsky to help me prank JJ with a bucket of ice water a stupid thing to do?” Phichit asked his coach, standing up after lacing up his trainers.

  
“YES. That is an unfathomably stupid-”

  
“Great thanks byeeeeeeeee!” Phichit sang, running out of the room.

  
He found Yurio (Yuri, he reminded himself, Yuri) when the teen was leaving the rink, glaring at his phone and cursing in Russian.

  
“Heyyyyy Yuri!” Phichit called, running up to the smaller skater.

  
“What the fuck do you want?” Yuri sneered, looking up for your phone. “If you’re looking for forgiveness, it’s not happening. You humiliated me online!”

  
“I know, I know and I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to humiliate you.”

  
“Bullshit.”

  
“I didn’t mean to humiliate you as much is it did. Viktor said you didn’t like clowns, he didn’t say that you were absolutely terrified of them.”

  
“Viktor told you that?! That son of a bitch I’ll kill him!” Yuri growled, stamping his feet and beginning to storm off, if not for Phichit grabbing his arm.

  
“Yuri! Wait before going all Once Upon A Time season one Regina on Viktor’s ass-”

  
“What the fuck do you mean by that?” Yuri asked, confused at Phichit’s much unappreciated reference.

  
“I doesn’t matter.” Phichit sighed. “Look, what if I could make it up to you?”

  
“You can’t make up for humiliation!” He spat.

  
“What if I told you that my fans voted for you to help me dump buckets of ice water on JJ?”

  
“...I’m listening...”

  
“Ah-ha! I knew I’d find you here!” came a call.

  
Phichit’s attention turned towards the entrance, where a woman was stood, struggling to hold the heavy doors. She was of average height, wrapped in a thick black parka, a grey scarf covering her mouth and nose, thick black glasses with wide brown eyes behind them, messy brown hair spilling over her shoulders and a white cat ear headband.

  
“SHIT it’s one of my fans!” Yuri cursed, casting a quick glance to Phichit. “Run if you want to live.”

  
“No, wait!” the girl said urgently, running up to them. “My name is Dery, I’m the Yuri’s Angels head of Social Media correspondence. I’m not like the others, I assure you. I’ve been trying to rein those girls in but they’re, ah, a bit too excitable.”

  
“Nice to meet you, I’m Phichit.” Phichit smiled, holding out his hand for Dery to shake.

  
Dery shook it, pulling down her scarf and smiling warmly.

  
“I sent you a direct message via Instagram about meeting up, but I don’t think it came through, so I thought it’d be best to come and find you. I hope that didn’t see to creepy...”

  
“No! Not at all!” Phichit grinned. “Yuri and I were actually about to get on to another prank cam, you’re welcome to join us if you want.”

  
“I-I’d love to. But only if it’s ok with Yuri. I don’t want to intrude on anything...”

  
“I honestly couldn’t care less. Join us or whatever, just don’t get in the way.”

  
Dery bounced on her feet happily, grinning broadly from behind her thick woollen scarf.

  
“YAY! I want disappoint you! I’ll keep the girls away from you, I’ll tell them you’re in a completely different area than where we’ll be and keep them moving further away.”

  
Yuri’s eyes widened, a relieved look flitting across his features.

  
“Really? I, ah... spasibo, Dery, was it?”

  
“Yep! It’s nothing, the girls can be a bit, ah, rabid. But that’s normal, due to the fact that they’re young, and hormones are everywhere, I can remember from my days as a rookie back in Viktor’s old fan club-”

  
“Wait. How old are you?” Yuri asked, cooking a brow.

  
“I... um... I’m twenty-four.” Dery mumbled timidly.

  
“Twenty-four? You look younger.” Yuri mused, digging his hands into his pockets.

  
“I, ah, get that a lot.” She mumbled, inching her midnight scarf up a little higher. “But it’s true, I’m twenty-four.”

  
“You look sixteen.” Murmured Yuri, still eyeing her curiously.

  
“Okay! Enough about that.” Phichit said brightly, breaking up the conversation. “We need to get our shit together for this prank.”

  
“Agreed.” Yuri nodded, folding his arms. “What do we need?”

  
“To locate JJ, buy a bucket, a bag of ice and water.”

  
“Just tracked JJ by his twitter feed.” Dery said quickly, eyes glued to the screen of her phone.

  
“Wow. That was fast.” Yuri mumbled, eyebrows raised.

  
“He posts a lot.” Dery explained. “There’s a general store a couple blocks away and I speak some Spanish, so we don’t need to struggle with the language barrier.”

  
Phichit nodded, grinning readily, looking at Yuri, who was smirking evilly.

  
“This is gonna be fun.” Yuri smirked.

 

  
“Okay. Buckets are ready.” Yuri confirmed, handing Dery her bucket, buckling slighly under the weight of the water filled plastic container.

  
“Great. Dery, what’s JJ’s location?”

  
“They’re at the fountain approximately fifty metres from here, heading our way.” She said, relieving Yuri of the heavy bucket.

  
“They? He’s not alone?” Yuri asked, pushing Phichit’s bucket towards him.

  
“Isabella Yang, or soon to be Leroy, is with him.” Phichit answered, activating the stream and placing the phone on a small ledge near his head. “Hey! What’s up everybody! Phichit here with special guests Yuri and Dery! Say hi, you guys!”

  
“Hi!” Dery smiled warmly. “Its great to be here!”

  
“Whatever. You fuckers voted for my humiliation and now you vote for me to humiliate Leroy? You’re all twisted as fuck.”

  
“... and there was this one girl who couldn’t quite pull the box step off quite as well as the others, but one of he other students was kind enough to help her, and now she’s great at it!” came Isabella’s enthusiastic babble, growing louder as she and JJ approached the alley the trio were tucked away in.

  
“Aw, that’s great! I miss hearing about your classes, I’m so sorry I haven’t been in contact much, skating has just kept me so busy lately.”

  
“Barf o’clock soon.” Yuri groaned, lifting up his bucket. “Ready? He’s nearly here.”

  
“If you guys have forgotten, we’re pranking JJ Leroy of Canada, his fiancée, Isabella is here so she’s gonna get wet too.” Phichit said quickly to the camera, just as JJ appeared in his field of vision.

  
Yuri lunged forwards, flinging the ice water all over JJ, followed by Dery throwing the water all over Isabella, Phichit aiming for the pair, Yuri throwing the now empty bucket at JJ, causing the pair to yelp at the cold.

  
“WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?!” JJ roared, tucking his fiancée closer to him. “ARE YOU SOME KIND OF A PERVERT?! SHE’S WEARING A WHITE TOP!”

  
“Its so cold, JJ.” Isabella shuddered, pressing into JJ’s body.

  
“I’d say sorry, but I don’t give a shit about you and your bitch.” Yuri shrugged, biting back a laugh.

  
“You! What the hell was with the bucket?! That fucking HURT!” JJ snapped, glaring at Yuri, who was breaking into a fit of laughter.

  
“Yuri, that was out of order.” Dery scolded. “You shouldn’t have thrown that bucket.”

  
“But-”

  
“No.” Dery said sternly, cutting him off. “Apologise. You too, Phichit.”

  
“Pfft! Sorry or whatever.” Yuri snickered, still laughing.

  
“Crap, JJ, Isabella. We’re so sorry, my fans voted for this, I shouldn’t have gone with it I’m so, so sorry.” Phichit said quickly.

  
JJ’s features relaxed into an easy smile.

  
“Oh, this is that prank cam you’re doing?”

  
“Yep.” Phichit nodded.

  
“Haha, no wonder! Sorry about flipping out on you, the cold can be a bit of the shock to the system.” He so pleasantly, smiling at the Thai skater.

  
“You... you’re not mad?” Phichit asked, a little confused.

  
“Oh, I’m a little irritated about the water, and I’m still mad about the bucket thing, it’s great to appear in one of your streams.” JJ smiled, tucking Isabella closer and rubbing her shoulder with his thumb.

  
“JJ and I have always loved watching your videos, especially your vines from back in Detroit. The ‘Damn Yuuri’ vine, oh my god, I think we looped that a million times.” Isabella laughed, running broadly.

  
“AAAAH! Thank you!” Phichit squealed, bouncing on his heels. “You should probably go back and get changed, before you do, a quick JJ style for the fans?”

  
“Please no, I’ll throw up.” Yuri groaned as Phichit made his way over to the small ledge his phone was rested against, scrolling through the comments quickly.

  
‘DEM ABS THOOO’

  
‘I’M SO GAY FOR JJ’S GF’

  
‘I CAN THE ABS’

  
‘THEY R BOTH RIPPED TF’

  
‘I’m sHook’

  
‘is it just me or did Yura look legit shook for a second there’

  
“Okay, ready?” Phichit asked, focusing the camera on the couple.

  
JJ and Isabella separated, nodding.

  
“ITS JJ STYLE!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dery is based off a friend of seriousfangirl97. I don't know her personally but I hope this was accurate.
> 
> I like JJ. Sue me. 
> 
> I definately wasn't listening to the theme of King JJ on loop while writing this. 
> 
> I have a headcanon that Phichit had/has a vine account and made vines with Yuuri in Detroit, the most popular being Phichit and Yuuri attempting a 'Damn Daniel' parody where the initial idea would be yuuri doing a quad toe loop but Yuuri fell on his face so it became "Damn Yuuri, back at it again face first on the ice."
> 
> I am officially trash. 
> 
> Tumblr: nerdqueensblogbitches.tumblr.com  
> Nsfw: nsfqofnerdqueen.tumblr.com
> 
> Next to be pranked: Christophe


	3. Champagne, psychology and snakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this at 1am. Don't. Fucking. Ask.

“Oh, crap. How do I pull this one off?” Phichit muttered to himself, staring at the results that appeared on the screen just a minute ago.

 

**Prankee: Christophe Giacometti**

  
**Pranker: Viktor Nikiforov**

**Prank: something food/drink related**

 

The Viktor part was relatively easy, Viktor was impulsive and fun loving, and Yuuri’s fiancée, so Phichit always knew where to find him.

 

The only problems were Yuuri potentially not allowing Viktor to do the prank and the fact that Christophe was Viktor’s best friend and had practically never left his side since the announcement of his engagement yesterday.

 

The problem with pranking Christophe is the that the man knew everything. He could get secrets out of anybody. So even if he got Viktor on board, Christophe would find out eventually.

 

“Did you see JJ’s face?” came the melodic laugh of Minako, Yuuri’s old ballet teacher, echoing through the halls.

 

“Celestino did tell him to stop...” came Yuuri’s cautious tone. “But, you know Phichit... I’d dread to be his next victim.”

 

“I wouldn’t mind, as long as it doesn’t physically harm me or ruin my image.” Viktor shrugged, slinging an arm over Yuuri’s shoulder. “Or do anything to my Yuuri~” he hummed, nuzzling into Yuuri’s cheek with his nose.

 

“Don’t worry!” Phichit called, running up to them. “Neither you or Yuuri are next.”

 

Yuuri relaxed, shoulders sagging and sighing in relief.

 

“Oh thank god.” Yuuri gasped, pushing his glasses back up his nose.

 

“Then who is?” Viktor asked with a quirk of a silver eyebrow, a smirk playing on his lips and cyan eyes sparkling with mirth.

 

“Christophe. And you,” Phichit said, turning to Viktor. “Have been voted as my partner in crime. The prank has to be food and/or drink related. ”

 

“No.” Yuuri interjected, stepping in front of Viktor protectively. “Absolutely not.”

 

Viktor pouted, fisting his hands in Yuuri’s jacket and starting to whine like a small child.

 

“But Yuuuuriiiii!” Viktor whined, pouting childishly. “I want to help Phichit prank Chris! The fans chose meee!”

 

“Viktor, no.” Yuuri said sternly, removing Viktor’s hands from his coat.

 

“Why?” Viktor asked, frowning at his fiancée.

 

“Because I love you and I don’t want you to get hurt.” Yuuri said earnestly, kissing the pout of Viktor’s lips.

 

“But Chris is my best friend! He’d never hurt me.” Viktor reasoned, smirking knowingly.

 

Yuuri sighed, cupping Viktor’s cheeks.

 

“I love you but you can be insufferable.” Viktor’s face lit up, grinning against Yuuri’s hands.

 

“THANK YOUUUUU!” Viktor yelled, picking up Yuuri and spinning him around. “I love you so much!”

 

Yuuri sighed, taking Viktor’s face in his hands and kissing his forehead.

 

“Don’t do anything too stupid, both of you.” Yuuri warned as Viktor lowered him back onto the ground. “I’ll be watching the stream, so don’t even think of doing anything vaguely life threatening. I’m not losing my best friend and fiancée on the same day.”

 

“Aye, aye Mama Yuuri!” Phichit grinned, saluting Yuuri. “Ready to go, Viktor?”

 

Phichit didn’t get an answer from the tall Russian, well, not verbally at least, as Viktor had gripped Phichit’s wrist and dragged him as fast as humanly possible to the elevator, hammering the button that lead to his floor and bouncing on his heels excitedly, a wide, cat-like grin in place of his usual heart shaped one.

 

It was already a little strange to be around someone he revered as practically a God who happened to be engaged to his best friend, but it was strange to actually experience Viktor Nikiforov as a person, rather than an unobtainable figure on a screen.

 

He was so different from the Viktor Phichit had seen in all those interviews and routines that he and Yuuri used to watch together back in Detroit. He was still as charming, but he didn’t seem so untouchable anymore. His flirty natured winks were reserved for Yuuri and Yuuri alone. He was so sweet and excitable, kind of like a big puppy.

 

The ding of the elevator reaching it’s floor interrupted the thoughts of the Thai skater, body lurching as Viktor grabbed his hand and pulled him towards one of the hotel rooms, which Phichit guess was his and Yuuri’s.

 

It’s weird, Phichit thought as Viktor let go of his wrist to dig through the pockets of the probably expensive trench-coat he was wearing for his key card. He’s unusually friendly... maybe it’s a Russian thing? But Yurio is far from friendly, with the exception of Otabek-

 

“Something the matter, Phichit?” Viktor asked, noticing the younger man staring at him.

 

“Oh! I, Um. Sorry, I’m just a little surprised at how friendly you’re being towards me.” Phichit answered, laughing awkwardly.

 

“Why do you find it surprising? Any friend of Yuuri’s is a friend of mine.” He smiled warmly, pushing the door open.

 

“Really? Thanks, that’s really kind of you.” Phichit mumbled, following Viktor into the room.

 

“Why are you thanking me? If anything, should be thanking you, Phichit.” Viktor asked, disappearing into the bathroom.

 

“Uh... thanking me? Why me?” Phichit asked as the older man reappeared from the bathroom, toiletry bag in hand.

 

“For everything you’ve done for my fiancée.” Viktor stated as if it were obvious fact, rifling through the relatively large black bag. “You’ve been an incredible friend to him, you know. He speaks about you often.”

 

“Really? Oh, that’s nothing. Yuuri’s a great guy, why wouldn’t I want to keep in contact with him and want to support him?”

 

“Exactly why I love him...” Viktor sighed wistfully, pulling something out of the bag. “A-ha! Found it!” He cried, waving a small rubber snake in the air victoriously.

 

“Is that what I think it is?” Phichit asked, raising an eyebrow.

 

“It’s a rubber snake that I used on Chris at the 2014 Winter Olympics. He flipped his shit!” Viktor hummed with glee, dancing on the spot.

 

“Okay... so how are we gonna implement that into a food themed prank?”

 

“Ah. I didn’t think of that.” Viktor frowned. The older man stood silently for a moment, squeezing the rubber snake as he pondered what to do. “Got it!” He grinned, running over to one of the nightstands, where the room service menu was lying. “We order a bottle of champagne, open it and pour some out then slip the snake in, secure it and shake it up then give to Chris to open later!”

 

Phichit’s eyes widened.

 

“That is pure genius!” He squealed. “But where will this take place?”

 

“The pool. If there’s one thing I know about Chris, he can never resist a pool party.”

 

“...But it’s freezing.”

 

“The pool is heated. I trust you have a bathing suit?”

 

“Well, yeah, but I didn’t bring it with me. We may be in Barcelona, but it’s freezing, so I chose not to bring one.”

 

“Makes sense.” Viktor shrugged. “It’s okay. What size are you?”

 

“Men’s medium. Same as Yuuri.”

 

“Perfect! I bought one for Yuuri, but he didn’t want it. It’s unused, don’t worry.”

 

 

“God, it’s freezing.” Phichit shivered, rubbing his arms for warmth. “How are you not dying right now?”

 

“I’m Russian. Russians don’t get cold.” Viktor answered plainly, shrugging. “Chris just texted me, he’s on his way up. I’d suggest you activate the stream now.”

 

Phichit nodded, unlocking his phone and selecting Instagram, tapping the livestream button then waiting for people to join the stream.

 

“What’s up everybody! Phichit here with our third prank cam!” Phichit greeted once the livestream had gained enough viewers. “I’m here today with five time GPF gold medallist, Olympic gold medallist, Yuuri’s coach and fiancée, Viktor Nikiforov!”

 

“Are you quite done, Phichit?” Viktor smirked sarcastically. “But really, it’s great to be here.”

 

“Okay Viktor, what’s the plan?”

 

“Well, I’ve known Chris since he was an innocent teenager running through the Swiss meadows, hard to believe, I know. One thing he has always hated is snakes, as most of you may have realised during his interview during the most recent Winter Olympics, for which I’m still not sorry. It was hilarious. Anyway, we took that same snake and put it in a champagne bottles to open in front of him, launching the snake into his face.”

 

A comment popped up on the screen.

**Yuuri_Katsuki: dont do anything too stupid. I’m watching u**

“Aw!” Viktor squealed. “Look at that, my beautiful fiancée loves me so much!~” He sang, kicking his feet in the water and accidently splashing Phichit.

 

“Hey! Watch it!” Phichit whined, shivering. “I’m cold enough as it is, I don’t need to be wet, too!”

 

More comments popped up onto the screen.

 

**‘hiiii Yuuri senpai’**

**‘OMF katsudon daddy is here’**

**‘LICK ME DADDY’**

**‘Yuuri_Katsuki: I’d rather not I’m engaged’**

 

Viktor grabbed his phone, a deep frown on his lips as he typed viciously.

 

**‘v_nikiforov: BACK THE FUCK OFF HE’S MINE’**

**‘Yuuri_Katsuki: Viktor get off the phone it’s rude’**

**‘v_nikiforov: NOT UNTIL THEY LEARN TO BACK OFF >:(’**

**‘v_nikiforov: HE’S MINE YOU UNDERSTAND MINE. YOU WANT HIM YOU FIGHT ME FOR HIM.’**

**‘Yuuri_Katsuki: viktor stop embarrassing yourself and put your phone away. It’s not fair on phichit’**

**Phichit grinned, tapping on his screen rapidly.**

**‘phichit+chu: nah I’m enjoying the drama’**

**‘yuri-plisetsky: SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY YOU’RE BOTH DISGUSTING’**

**‘phichit+chu: now now yuri I know it’s hard when parents fight but you shouldn’t butt in’**

**‘yuri-plisetsky: FUCK U THEY’RE NOT MY PARENTS’**

**‘yuri-plisetsky has left the stream’**

**‘v_nikiforov has left the stream’**

**‘Yuuri_Katsuki: FUCKING FINALLY’**

**‘ooooohh Yuuri swore’**

**‘daddy said a bad word’**

**‘Yuuri_Katsuki: please don’t call me daddy’**

**‘v_nikiforov has joined the stream’**

**‘Yuuri_Katsuki: oh no’**

**‘v_nikiforov: Yeah don’t call him daddy only I can do that’**

**‘Yuuri_Katsuki: Viktor i swear to god’**

 

“Yoo-hoo!” came a call, causing the two men to look away from their phones.

 

“Chris!” Viktor grinned, locking his phone and setting it aside. “Glad you could join us!”

 

“Sorry for being so late, I got a little... held up, shall we say?” Christophe drawled, sauntering to where the duo was sat by the pool, neck littered with faint red marks. “You know how Marc can get, especially after watching me skate.” He smirked with a wink as he sat down next to Viktor. “I imagine you feel the same about your Yuuri, coach Viktor.~” Christophe teased, nudging Viktor lightly in the ribs with his elbow.

 

“Who?” Phichit asked, careful not to let Christophe see he was streaming.

 

“Marc? He’s my partner. Y’know, tall, brown mullet, beautiful eyes, looks dead sexy in a black suit.”

 

“I thought he was just a representative of the Swiss skating federation.” Phichit murmured, tilting his phone to get a better view of Christophe’s face.

 

“He is.” Said Christophe, leaning back against the tiles of the pool.

 

“You’re dating a member of the SSF?” Phichit asked incredulously.

 

“Your best friend is screwing his coach, I don’t know why you’re surprised.” Christophe replied, laughing at the embarrassed groan Viktor made and his uncharacteristically red cheeks.

 

“ _Chrisssss_...” Viktor groaned, burying his face in his hands. Phichit could only imagine Yuuri’s reaction He needed to change the subject quickly.

 

“It’s not like I can’t hear him pounding you into oblivion, our rooms are right next to each other.”

 

“Please stop... this really isn’t appropriate...”

 

“What? Why so prude all of a sudden? You’re not usually so prude. Or if I were to put it in Freudian terms, why are you being so anal about it?”

 

“You know Freud?” Phichit asked, changing the subject quickly, Viktor sending him a thankful glance.

 

“Of course I do! I’ve been studying psychology for five years, how could I not know the father of psychoanalysis? How do you know of him?”

 

“Back in Detroit I major in musical theatre but Yuuri and I used to take a psychology class for non-majors.”

 

“Really? It’s a fascinating subject, isn’t it?”

 

“Yeah. So have you been studying it at University or?”

 

“Online courses. I’m working on a book for my PhD now, just started it. I plan on becoming a marriage counsellor after I’m too old to skate.”

 

“A book? Awesome!” Phichit said brightly, trying to ignore the buzzing of his phone.

 

“I call it; _Impulsive behaviour: my ten year relationship with Viktor Nikiforov_.”

 

The man in question had remained silent throughout the enthusiastic exchange between the Swiss and Thai skaters, seemingly opting to stay out of it, now suddenly coming to life at the mention of his name.

 

“Hey! I am not impulsive!” Viktor huffed defensively, Christophe throwing his head back and laughing

 

“Have you even met yourself? You are the single most Impulsive person I have ever met!” Christophe barked through his laughter.

 

“Alright, give me one example of me being impulsive.” Viktor challenged.

 

“Vancouver GPF, you cut your hair short.”

 

“I was drunk.”

 

“Your 18th birthday. You went into a sex shop and-”

 

“Okay who wants champagne?!” Phichit asked loudly, cutting Christophe off to save Viktor’s dignity.

 

“Oh, champagne would be wonderful.” Christophe sighed appreciatively.

 

“I’ll open it.” Viktor offered, reaching for the bottle they had prepared earlier, undoing the wire clasp, dropping it on the tray where the glasses were. He looked at Phichit brief, a malicious glint in his eyes as he tucked his thumb under the bulb of the cork, flicking it open, a stream of champagne shooting out, the snake flying out and hitting Christophe in his face, landing on his lap.

 

The tall Swiss skater screamed, losing the tenacious edge he was sat on and plummeting into the pool, Viktor whooping with laughter, Phichit lifting his phone from where it was tucked against his thigh, zooming in on the submerged figure in the pool, grinning at the comments popping up on the screen.

 

**‘tmi chris’**

**‘is he legit writing a book on Viktor tho’**

**‘LMFAOOOOO’**

**‘Is he drowning???’**

**‘Ofc Chris would know freud’**

**‘holy fuccckkk’**

**‘These get funnier every time’**

“Ahahaha oh my god this never gets old!” Viktor howled, hands on his knees as he Led over the pool, laughing, stopping suddenly when Christophe came up out of the water, hand latching onto Viktor’s wrist, pulling him into the water, Viktor quickly latching onto Phichit with a yelp and dragging the Thai skater in with him.

 

“WAIT SHIT NO-” Phichit screamed, sentence cut off by the chlorine infused water invading his mouth.

 

As he came up, still clutching his phone, he thanked fuck that his phone was waterproof.

 

“Well, that was unexpected.” Phichit grinned, pushing his wet hair out of his face. “Wow, the stream’s still going! Hey guys!”

 

“- AND THIS IS FOR THAT SHIT YOU PULLED IN VANCOUVER!” Christophe yelled behind him, splashing Viktor in the face.

 

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry!” Viktor whined, splashing Christophe back.

 

“Okay guys. That’s enough drama-queening for today.” Phichit called over his shoulder. “I’m gonna end the stream. C’ya tomorrow!” Phichit grinned waving at the screen, Christopher blowing a kiss and Viktor making a peace sign.

 

“À bientôt!”

 

“Dasvidanya!”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr: NerdQueensBlogBitches 
> 
> Yes Marc is the headcanon name is have for Christophe’s mystery dude


	4. Elevator game - Otabek

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They play the elevator game as a prank

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY I AM SO SORRY FOR THIS LONG ASS HIATUS BUT YA GIRL'S BACK WITH MORE QUALITY (is that what we're calling it?) CONTENT  
> HERE YA GO

“I don’t hate you, but I kinda do.” Christophe said, taking a sip from his water bottle.

 

 

“Chrisss! I had to! For the fans!”

 

 

“I know, I know.” Christophe sighed, leaning against the barrier. “Tell you what; I’ll forgive you if you let me get Viktor back in the most mortifying way humanly possible.”

 

“Deal.” Phichit grinned, feeling his phone buzzing at his side. “Speaking of which...”

 

“Oh? The poll’s already done?” Christophe asked curiously, setting down the water bottle.

 

“Yeah. I have set times for the voting.” Phichit said, unlocking his phone and opening the poll up on his browser.

 

Prankee: Otabek Altin

 

Pranker(s): Katsuki Yuuri, Sara Crispino, Jean-Jacques Leroy

 

Prank: scare

 

“Well fuck.” Phichit said, staring at the results on his phone. “How am I gonna pull this off?”

 

“Who’s your next victim?” Christophe asked, leaning towards Phichit.

 

 

“Otabek.” Phichit sighed, staring across the rink at the Kazakh skater as he threw himself in the air into a quad salchow. Phichit really needed to learn how to pull one of those off...

 

“Nicely done, Otabek!” called JJ from the other side of the rink as Otabek landed flawlessly. “Your quad sal’s have seriously improved since the last time I saw you.”

 

The Kazakh skater said nothing, only gliding into the centre of the rink and throwing himself into a Carmel spin, tucking his arms behind his back as he spun into a blur.

 

“Damn... what kind of prank?” Christophe asked, returning his gaze back to Phichit.

 

“Scare prank...” Phichit sighed, chewing his lip.

 

“You have to scare Otabek? Do those words even exist in the same sentence?”

 

“According to fans; yes.” Phichit sighed exasperatedly.

 

“And I thought going for Yurio was a death sentence.”

 

“I am solidly fucked.”

 

“What do you want your epitaph to be?” Christophe asked with a chuckle.

 

“Haha very funny.”

 

“No, I’m being serious. I’m not stranger to friends wanting weird epitaphs. Viktor wants Lady Gaga lyrics on his.” Christophe mused.

 

“Really?” Phichit asked.

 

“He was drunk and he’s with Yuuri now, so it’s probably changed.” Christophe shrugged. “Probably going to something mushy like: ‘not even death shall do us part’ or something.”

 

Out of the corner of his eye, Phichit could see Otabek and Yuri leave the rink, a small goodbye offered by Viktor and Yuuri though defensively turned down by the Russian teen.

 

Now was Phichit’s chance to act.

 

“Chris, I-”

 

“Need to go round up the troops and plot a scheme which will eventually lead to your demise. Go ahead, Cherie.” Christophe interjected, an amused smirk on his lips.

 

Phichit nodded, quickly skating over to Yuuri and grabbing his friend by the arm.

 

“Heeeeyy Viktor can I borrow Yuuri for like five minutes thaaaanks.” Phichit grinned, gripping his friends arm and dragging him away from his fiancée.

 

“Phichit? What’s going on?” Yuuri asked, brow furrowed in confusion.

 

“I’ll explain once we have JJ and find Sara.” Phichit said quickly.

 

Yuuri halted, turning towards the younger skater.

 

“I’ve been chosen for a prank, haven’t I?” Yuuri said, cocking a brow.

 

“To prank, not be pranked. Yet.”

 

Yuuri sighed, running a hand through his messy, sweaty hair.

 

“Who are we pranking?” Yuuri asked exasperatedly, yet he had a mirthful twinkle in his eye.

 

“Otabek. But we need to find JJ and Sara to help us.”

 

“Otabek?” Yuuri enquired, following Phichit to the other end of the rink where JJ was scrolling through something on his phone.

 

“Yeah. And don’t say it’s suicide, Chris already made it quite clear.” Phichit said, pointing a finger at Yuuri.

 

“I wasn’t going to say that; I was going to ask what kind of prank.”

 

“Just let me fill you in when we get to JJ.”

 

“And Sara?” Yuuri asked.

 

“She should be here for the ladies scheduled practice soon.”

 

 

“And when is soon, oh wise Mister Chulanont?” Yuuri asked, stopping to lean against the barrier of the rink.

 

“Oh, you want to sass me now?” Phichit snorted, hands on his hips. “Sara will be here around-”

 

“Hi guys!” Sara called as she entered the rink, a scowling Michele looming behind her protectively.

 

“Sara! Hi! Just the girl we’re looking for!” Phichit grinned, waving at her.

 

“Have I been chosen to prank somebody?” Sara asked, a mischievous excitement colouring her voice.

 

“Yeah,” Yuuri nodded. “Now all we need is JJ, then we can get this show on the road.”

 

“I heard my name,” JJ said, skating up to the trio. “What’s up?”

 

“We’ve been chosen to prank someone.” Sara said. “Care to fill us in, boys?”

 

“Yeah, who’s the target?” JJ asked, folding his arms.

 

“Otabek.” Phichit said, watching JJ’s brows lift, confusion overtaking Sara’s features.

 

“What kind of prank though?” JJ asked, drinking from his water bottle.

 

“Scare.” Phichit sighed, watching Sara and Yuuri pale slightly, JJ chewing his lip in thought.

 

“But we don’t know what he’s scared of.” Sara said, leaning against the barrier.

 

“I do.” JJ said quietly.

 

“You do?” Asked Phichit.

 

“Yeah, we were rink mates for about... four years? Something like that. We were pretty close.” JJ shrugged.

 

“So? What’s he scared of?” Sara prompted.

 

“Well... he’s pretty superstitious.” JJ murmured. “Knows a lot of creepy folklore and urban legends... we should probably be pretty careful with this prank though. Otabek used to get pretty bad nightmares and anxiety when we were kids, so we’ll need to be careful not to trigger a panic attack or some kind of episode. He’s tough and can take a lot, but I’d feel awful if we did something to trigger him.”

 

“You seem to know a lot about Otabek, JJ.” Said Yuuri, mildly surprised.

 

“He, ah,” JJ mumbled, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. “Was basically my only friend for years. Besides Leo of course. He was my first friend, like ever.”

 

“So, what do you propose we do?” Phichit asked, readjusting his gloves.

 

“Nothing that’s t loud or jumps out... something... subtle.”

 

“Korean elevator game.” Yuuri said suddenly, causing the other three of the four to turn to him.

 

“Yes! That’s perfect!” Phichit said excitedly, clapping his hands.

 

“Korean… Elevator game?” JJ asked in confusion, brows knitting together.

 

“Before you explain; does this have anything to do with Seung-Gil?” Sara asked.

 

“No?” Phichit replied. “Why would it?”

 

“Dunno.” Sara shrugged. “First thing that came to mind.”

 

“[The Korean Elevator Game](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elevator_game) is an urban legend.” Yuuri explained. “Supposedly, if you go to a hotel with ten floors or more, get into the elevator and go to certain floors in a certain pattern, you will be transported to an alternate dimension. Apparently, the building is the same, but the lights are out and all you can see outside is a red cross. And you need to take the same elevator and follow the same algorithm to return back.”

 

“Or something bad will happen to you.” Phichit added, noticing the paled faces of JJ and Sara. “B-but it’s been proven to be bullshit.”

 

“… Phichit, are you, um, sure this safe? Didn’t that woman… what was her name… Elisa Lamb? Didn’t she die from playing this?” JJ asked warily.

 

“Experts have proved you can’t die while playing this, it’s a hoax.” Phichit assured JJ, flashing a small smile at him.

 

“Are you sure? I know Otabek would definitely agree to this, he’s reasonable but he’s a daredevil. He’d definitely fall for it. I just don’t want anyone getting hurt.” JJ murmured, biting his lip.

 

“JJ! Practice is over, let’s head back, okay champ?” JJ’s dad called from the other end of the rink.

 

“We’ll discuss this properly after the short, okay?”

 

 

                                                                                                 ---------

“So, the lady comes onto the elevator on the fifth floor.” Yuuri explained as they were all huddled in Phichit’s hotel room, notepads, laptops and various costumes and cosmetics laid out on the floor between the quartet. “But the question is, who do we get to play the lady?”

 

“She’s described as petite.” Phichit shrugged. “Sara’s the smallest out of all of us.”

 

“But she’s also described as pale,” Sara said pointedly, taking a sip from her bottle of Orangina. “None of us are actually that pale.”

 

“JJ?” Phichit asked, concerned for the young Canadian. “Are you still up for this? You can drop out if you really want to, no one’s forcing you to do anything.”

 

“N-no,” JJ stammered, unusually quiet and shaken from when he choked earlier that day. “I’m fine. I could do with some cheering up.”

 

“Okay, but don’t hesitate to tell us if something’s wrong.” Sara said, squeezing JJ’s bruised knee, apologising when he winced slightly.

 

“So, who do you think would be the lady?” Phichit asked.

 

“Well…” JJ pondered quietly. “I’m the palest out of all of us… but even if I was dragged up I wouldn’t look quite right… even with padding I’d look too masculine, and she’s described as very beautiful.”

 

“Well I’m not sacrificing any of this beautiful golden skin to coat it in white make up, and I doubt Phichit will either, so it’s up to you two.” Sara said, waving a finger between JJ and Yuuri.

 

Yuuri groaned, burying his face in his hands as Phichit’s face split into a manic grin.

 

“Time to bring Katti Suki out of the closet again, Yuuri.” Phichit grinned.

 

“UGHH goddammit.” Yuuri groaned. “You are so lucky I love you.”

 

“Katti… Suki?” JJ asked, confused.

 

“While we were in Detroit, Yuuri and I tried out drag. That was his name.” Phichit explained.

 

“I was drunk and bored.” Yuuri said quickly.

 

“Detroit pride isn’t the same without her, Yuuri. Come back!” Phichit whined, throwing his arms around a groaning Yuuri.

 

“It was one pride, and I was twenty-two.” He tried to explain.

 

“He started around the time we started stripping to pay bills.” Phichit grinned.

 

“PHICHIT CHULANONT, I SWEAR TO GOD.”

 

 

                                                                                                 ---------

 

As agreed, they were following a slightly altered algorithm, just to ensure nothing would happen.

 

Sara and Phichit were loitering in the lobby, by the door to the hotel restaurant, checking their phones, waiting for their target to enter the lobby as Phichit activated the stream.

 

“What’s up everyone, it’s Phichit!” Phichit greeted, watching the hundreds of viewers join the stream. “This is episode four of Phichit’s Prank Cam, and today I am with Sara, to prank Kazakhstan’s Otabek Altin.”

 

“Sup.” Sara said, eyes still glued to her phone.

 

“So, what’s instore today: we were asked to scare him. So, what we came up with was…. Drumroll please,” Phichit smiled, laughing at the stream of drum emojis appearing on the screen. “Elevator to another world prank!”

 

“Phichit, I think I just saw him.”

 

**Fanyuhanyu: elevator prank?**

**NerdBerd: Creepy Urban legend shit**

**Altagrace: oooh boi this is gonna be so good**

**MrsAltin: be careful with our boi he is soft boi**

 

“I’ll explain everything once we get him to do this, but all you need to know is that JJ and Yuuri are a part of this prank, but their stationed on different floors-”

 

“Phichit, Otabek at three o’clock.” Sara hissed urgently, tugging on Phichit’s arm. “Hide your phone.”

 

Phichit nodded, tucking his phone into his side, stepping towards the Kazakh skater walking through the lobby.

 

“Otabek!” Phichit called, jogging toward him.

 

The younger skater jumped slightly, face still stoic as he pulled out his phone and paused the rock music seeping out of his headphones, sliding them off.

 

“Phichit? How can I help you?” He asked, tone even and polite.

 

“Have you heard of the Korean Elevator Game?” Phichit asked, watching Otabek raise a brow.

 

“The elevator to another world?” Otabek asked. “I know of it, yes.”

 

“Cool! Because Sara and I were going to attempt it, and we were wondering if you were gonna do it with us.” Phichit explained. “JJ was going to join us, but he chickened out. Though he did mention you liked this stuff? Said something about hunting a Winnebago when you were still rink mates?”

 

Something flashed in Otabek’s eyes, something akin to excitement, fading quickly as his brows furrowed.

 

“Wait, this isn’t one of your pranks, is it?” Otabek asked sceptically.

 

“Phichit! There’s an empty elevator! C’mon!” Sara called, waving frantically.

_God bless that life-saver._

 

“Are you coming with?” Phichit asked, looking back at Otabek.

 

“I’m not doing anything until tomorrow… why not.” He replied hesitantly.

 

“Great!” Phichit said, pulling out his phone. “I’m gonna stream it, if that’s okay.”

 

“Sure.” Otabek shrugged.

 

“You know the rules, right?” Phichit asked, walking quickly toward the elevator, Otabek thankfully following him.

 

“Sort of.” He shrugged.

 

“Okay, so we have to visit the first, second, fourth, second, sixth, second, fifth, tenth, then fifth and second floors in that order, we don’t talk, or get out. On the first time we get to the fifth floor, a tall, pale, beautiful woman will enter the elevator. Don’t talk at all. And hopefully we’ll get there.” Phichit explained quickly, stepping into the elevator.

 

Otabek stepped in with him, Sara following as the doors slid shut. Nodding, Sara pressed the button for the first floor. The elevator rose, the doors opening on the first floor.

 

Nothing.

 

No one got on.

 

Sara pressed for the second floor.

 

The elevator rose, the doors opening onto another empty hall.

 

Sara repeated the action for the rest of the algorithm, a thick tension filling the air.

 

The elevator finally landed on the fifth floor, the doors opening to reveal a tall, pale woman, clad in black.

 

Her face was hidden by a wide brimmed, black hat, glossy raven hair spilling down her shoulders, a curvaceous figure accentuated by the sleek, floor-length black dress, elbow length black gloves covering any skin, the high collar of the dress wrapped tightly around her neck. As she stepped in, heels clacking against the floor, dress swaying hypnotically behind her, she lifted her head to reveal a beautiful, pale face disturbed by dark red irises.

 

 _Thank fuck I was able to find red contacts in time,_ Phichit thought to himself. _Because goddamn Yuuri, you look great._

 

Otabek turned his head towards Yuuri, unaware of the tall woman’s true identity, looking her up and down with interest, turning his head back politely as Yuuri winked at him, reaching into the purse he was holding for the tube of black lipstick, reapplying it with an audible pop as he smacked his lips together.

 

Deliberately, Yuuri dropped the purse, Otabek dropping down to pick up the purse and hand it to the woman, still unaware of her identity.

 

“Here, Madame, you, uh, dropped this.” Otabek said, handing the purse back to ‘her’.

 

“Oh,” Yuuri purred, voice pitched higher and sounding scarily feminine. “Why thank you, young man.” Yuuri said seductively, winking at Otabek.

 

The elevator reached the tenth floor, and Yuuri stepped out, sashaying as he exited the elevator, Otabek’s eyes following him as he left.

 

The doors closed, Sara pressing the button for the fifth floor, the doors once more opening on an empty hallway before closing again, Sara pressing the button for the second floor.

 

The doors opened, the hallway dark and empty.

 

Sara stepped out first, Phichit and Otabek following closely after.

 

“Did… did we do it?” Sara asked, looking down the hall.

 

“Dunno…” Phichit said, copying Sara. “Looks like it…”

 

Suddenly, Sara screamed, being pulled away by a white clad figure.

 

 _Perfect timing, JJ._ Phichit thought to himself.

 

“SARA!” Phichit and Otabek cried, trying to follow JJ down the hall.

 

“What the hell was that?” Otabek asked.

 

“I dunno, I never read about this.” Phichit said, looking around, seeing JJ out of the corner of his eyes, hilariously clad in a white morph suit, walking towards him. “We must have done something wrong. But what?”

 

“Shit, you said not to talk, right?” Otabek cursed. “I talked to the woman.”

 

“I did… you broke the rule.” Phichit said, feigning a serious tone. “We need to go, we need to get out of here.”

 

Once Otabek’s back was turned, JJ ran toward Phichit, gripping him around the waist and lifting him up, sprinting away.

 

“OTABEK!” Phichit cried as he was carried away. “Perfect timing.” He whispered.

 

“You’re surprisingly heavy.” JJ whispered back, Otabek’s footsteps thudding after them down the hall.

 

“PHICHIT!”

 

Otabek ran after them, tackling JJ and forcing him to drop Phichit.

 

_Unplanned and a little painful, but hey more drama._

 

Otabek pinned JJ against the wall, hand firmly around his neck.

 

“Otabek!” JJ managed, voice strained. “Otabek!” shakily he reached up, pulling down the face mask of the suit. “It’s me! It’s just a prank!”

 

The lights flicked back on, Sara standing by the switch at the end of the hall, running towards the quartet of men.

 

“Sorry.” Phichit said apologetically, picking up his phone and brushing himself off. “I know I said it wasn’t… I shouldn’t have lied.”

 

“I told you this all was a bad idea…” JJ said, voice a little hoarse. “I told you we shouldn’t have gone through with a scare prank.”

 

“Otabek, we’re sorry.” Sara said, stepping towards him.

 

“Good prank, you got me.” Otabek said, with a miniscule smile. “I’ll see you all tomorrow for the free.”

 

He turned on his heel, only to be met with Yuuri’s tall figure.

 

“Y-you said this was a prank.” Otabek said, paling slightly.

 

“Yeah, it was.” Yuuri said, removing his hat and wig. “God, it’s been years since I last did drag, I regret everything.”

 

“What the…” Otabek said, bewildered. “Okay I’m just going to go to bed and pretend this never happened.”

 

With that, Otabek disappeared down the hall.

 

Phichit lifted his phone, scanning the screen and all the comments popping up onto it,

 

**KattSueDonne: OMGGGG**

**JannyMededeva: unexpected**

**DarkHorse: dam son he strong**

**QueenMonica: is JJ okay?**

**HotAndMilky: YES GAWD YUURI SERVING JAPANESE MONSTER FISH YASSSSSSSSS**

“Well, that was way more… dramatic than expected.” Phichit sighed. “Well, that concludes today’s stream. Phichit, out!” Phichit grinned, blowing a kiss at the camera.

 

“It’s JJ style!” JJ grinned, striking his pose, wobbling and falling into the wall. “I’m okay!”

 

“Arivederchi!” Sara smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tumblr: https://nerdqueensblogbitches.tumblr.com/


	5. Finale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end. Best to go out with a bang. 
> 
> and the sax riff from careless whisper bc it's fucking iconic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOLY SHIT MY DUDES THIS IS THE END OF AN ERA MY GOD IT'S BEEN OVER A YEAR BUT HERE WE ARE AYYY  
> ANYWAY ENJOY

“Phichit, please put your phone away and practice.” Celestino pleaded Phichit as he refreshed the polls once more. “It’s the free skate Phichit, just put your phone away.”

“But it’s the last prank, Ciao-Ciao.” Phichit whined.

“Phichit, for the love of God-”

“JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!” came a shout, echoing throughout the rink.

A still, deafening silence filled the arena, the clatter of a bottle dropping onto the ice as JJ sank to his knees, sobbing.

Christophe’s face softened in sympathy, but he still glided to the centre of the rink and threw himself into a spin.

Yuri rolled his eyes and continued his stretches.

Otabek looked conflicted, brows furrowed as if he was struggling to decide something.

“I haven’t seen him like this since he was Plisetsky’s age. Younger, even.” Celestino mused behind Phichit. “His confidence has always been a type of barrier for him, a defence mechanism. Now that he’s lost it, he’s exposed. He doesn’t know what to do with himself.”

Phichit cast his gaze over the rink, noticing Yuuri tracing lazy figures over the ice, a solemn expression on his face.

Viktor had been unusually solemn as well, leant against the barrier with a far off, sad look in his eyes as he watched his fiancée glide over the ice.

The two had been uncharacteristically cold that morning, and judging by the muffled shouting Phichit had heard coming from the room next to him the night before, this morning wasn’t exactly a great start to the free skate.

The warm, hopeful and friendly atmosphere from the morning before was gone, replaced with a chilly, hostile tension. The rink was silent, save for the clean snick of blades against the ice. Phichit surveyed the rink and the skaters in it, a crack sounding as Otabek landed a jump cleanly, another crack in quick succession. Yuri threw himself into a layback spin, Christophe marking and retracing parts of his choreography as Yuuri warmed up near the barrier, JJ tracing the ice in solitary figures, staring down at the polished black leather of his skates.

“I know this is an ice rink, but the atmosphere is so cold…” Phichit murmured, sipping from his water bottle, setting it aside on the boards.

“You think this is cold? You weren’t in Lillehammer ’94 after the whole Kerrigan-Harding mess started. _That_ was tense.” Celestino sighed, gaze drifting over to Yuuri. “But something does seem off about him today… try not to worry about it, okay? But if it really worries you, then by all means talk to him. I’ve never been able to stop you before.”

Phichit bit his lip, skating over to Yuuri. The Japanese skater was stood solemnly at the other end of the rink, slowly gliding into compulsory figures, Viktor watching him forlornly from the opposing end, keeping his distance.

“Morning, Yuuri!” Phichit greeted happily, causing Yuuri to trip over his skates mid-turn, stumbling onto the ice.

Viktor sprinted from the other end of the rink to where Phichit was standing.

“Yuuri! Are you okay-”

“I’m fine.” Yuuri said curtly, cutting off Viktor as he stood up and brushed himself off, looking away from him pointedly. “Don’t treat me like I’m made of glass.”

Viktor frowned, visibly shrinking.

“Well forgive a coach for showing concern over a student, and a man showing concern over his lover.” Viktor murmured bitterly, causing Yuuri to scrunch his face and pick up speed, gliding further away and moving into a basic twizzle.

“Hey,” Phichit said, skating towards Viktor. “Is everything okay between the two of you?”

“No.” Viktor sighed, hugging his arms.

“Can I ask what happened?” Phichit asked, leaning against the barrier.

“He wants to break up with me… I think he has actually… that and he wants to retire.” Viktor sighed sadly, holding out his hand and gazing at his ring. “I don’t get it… everything was going so well… does the ring not mean anything?”

“… Did he tell you why he wanted to end it?” Phichit asked carefully, sculpted dark brow quirking at the question.

Viktor sighed, relaxing against the boards as he watched Yuuri throw himself into a triple flip.

“He thinks he’s holding me back, keeping me from the ice because I apparently want to compete more than be with him.”

“And what did you say to that?”

“I… I told him he was being selfish, and that it wasn’t true.” Viktor admitted.

“Well no fucking wonder why he’s pissed with you.” Phichit sighed.

“Excuse me?” Viktor asked, affronted, causing Phichit to turn around to take Viktor’s wrists.

“Viktor.” Phichit exhaled. “Poor, sweet, naïve Viktor.”

“Yes?”

“One of the things you need to understand about Yuuri is that he does things like this because his mind works in a way that makes him believe people would be better off without him, and he misjudges what people really want. But you can’t get angry with him for it. You have to be patient with him, understand?” Phichit explained calmly. “If you get angry with him it will reinforce the voices in the back of his head that give him these ideas. You need to be patient with him and help him. If he starts to freak out then give him time.”

“But-”

“You must be patient and support him. Never let him doubt that you love him, but if he does, talk him through it. Sometimes he won’t want to talk, sometimes he will shut himself in the bathroom. Be patient, be understanding, make sure he eats, take care of him. Because if you hurt him, all of your darkest secrets will be leaked online within the next hour.”

“Um.” Viktor mumbled, eyes wide. “That’s a joke, right?”

“Maybe.” Phichit smirked darkly before schooling his expression. “But listen to me, and listen to me well. Take care of Yuuri. Be there for him when times get tough, help him, tend to him, be patient and understanding. Is that clear?”

“A-as clear as day.” Viktor stammered. “What should I do now?”

“Subtle support, but give him space until he’s more comfortable.” Phichit advised, watching Viktor’s expression carefully. “Being at the rink is both the best and the worst thing for Yuuri right now. The upside is that he can skate out his feelings; the downside is that he’s surrounded by people and cameras, and if he messes up, he may feel worse. I know how royally you fucked up in China, I could hear him crying in the parking lot. Please tell me you actually know how to deal with feelings now?”

Viktor nodded, pursing his lips and looking ashamed.

“What if he doesn’t want me after this?” Viktor asked quietly.

“This is Yuuri we’re talking about, Viktor. He’s been in love with you since he could understand the feeling, he has 46 posters of you, 16 of them are limited edition and he named his poodle after you. You’d have to do something really insensitive and unforgivable for Yuuri to not want you anymore.” Phichit replied. “He may say it but remember that it may be in his mind and that you should talk to him. Communication is key.”

“Th-thank you, Phichit.”

“Any time.”

“ALL SKATERS, PLEASE CLEAR THE ICE,” The announcer blared. “THE SENIOR DIVISION MEN’S FREE SKATE IS ABOUT TO BEGIN.”

“Well, look at the time.” Phichit said brightly. “I should get going. And remember, communication is key.”

 

 

“Holy shit.” Phichit breathed, fingers against his glossed lips, eyes widened at the score on the jumbotron. “He actually fucking did it.”

“The score for skater Yuuri Katsuki, representing Japan is 221.58, a personal best and the new world record for the highest free skate score in men’s figure skating.”

On the glaring screen of the jumbotron, Phichit saw Yuuri’s eyes widen in disbelief, mouth agape as he stared into the cameras.

Viktor wrapped his arms around Yuuri, pulling him close and visibly shaking, Yuuri squeezing him back, face buried in the beige fabric of Viktor’s trench coat.

Phichit smiled, wiping away a stray tear from his eyes.

“He’s not my student anymore,” Celestino sobbed. “Why am I so proud? Why am I crying?”

Phichit grinned, rolling his eyes and patting Celestino’s back, drawing his hand away once his phone buzzed.

The polls had ended.

He pulled his phone out, unlocking it and opening up the browser, checking the results.

**Pranker(s): Christophe Giacometti**

**Prankee(s): Yuuri Katsuki and Viktor Nikiforov**

**Prank: BFF bullshittery**

Phichit’s gaze lifted, scanning the arena for the familiar crop of peroxide bleached blond, spotting the tall Swiss man at the rink-side, ready to take the ice.

Phichit would just have to get to Christophe after the medal ceremony.

 

 

Phichit sighed, knocking on the door again.

After coming 5th, Christophe had shut himself in his hotel room. Phichit hadn’t seen him since the medal ceremony and press conference had ended.

The door opened to reveal Christophe’s partner, Marc, the older Swiss man looking tired as he towered over Phichit.

“Can I help you?” He asked quietly, blue eyes staring down at Phichit.

“Um, yeah, I was doing this prank cam thing and Chris got voted to be my partner in crime for the finale and I was wondering-”

“Chris isn’t… he’s not in the mood for people right now.” Marc said plainly, cutting Phichit off. “Particularly competitors.”

“Are you sure I can’t talk to him-”

“Phichit, right? I hope I’m pronouncing that correctly.”

“Yeah, you are.”

“Look.” Marc sighed, running a hand through his dark hair. “This comes from experience, when Chris is upset you need to give him space. He’s very tired physically and emotionally, so maybe you should come back later.”

“I-”

“Non, Chérie, he can come in.” Christophe murmured quietly, wrapping his arms around Marc’s midsection.

Marc turned his head to look at Christophe tenderly, taking his hand and squeezing it gently.

“You sure?” Marc asked tenderly, kissing Christophe’s temple as Christophe rested his chin upon Marc’s shoulder. “You’re exhausted.”

“Oh hush, I’m awake enough to hear whatever schemes Phichit can cook up. Come on in, petit.” Christophe replied, pulling away from Marc.

Marc nodded, opening the door wider to allow Phichit in as Christophe sat back down on the bed. Phichit crossed the threshold, closing the door behind him and entering the room.

“You can sit down, Phichit.” Christophe hummed, patting the spot next to him. “I promise these sheets are the clean ones.”

“I’m going to hold you to that, Chris.” Phichit laughed, sitting down next to him.

“I promise! They are!” Christophe protested with a chuckle.

“Okay, okay, I believe you.” Phichit grinned, pulling his phone out of his pocket. “But if I’m sitting in cum I will kick your ass.”

“I have six inches over you- height wise, lord knows what you have going on down there- You can’t take me.” Christophe smirked.

“I have a black belt in muay thai and my mom is a 7th generation master. I dare you to fuck with me.” Phichit deadpanned, unlocking his phone.

“Um.” Marc cut in, clearing his throat. “I’m going to shower now, so if you need the bathroom you should probably use it now.”

“I’m good, but thanks.” Phichit grinned as he opened up the polls. “Chris?”

“I’ll join you later if I can, Chérie.” Christophe hummed, blowing a kiss to Marc.

Marc nodded, pulling up his white shirt and tugging it over his head as he walked to the bathroom, Phichit’s eyes following the curve and defined edges of the muscles in his back, noticing the dark hickies and red scratches around the neck and shoulders with a hum. Christophe smacked his thigh gently, causing him to tear his gaze from Marc’s retreating figure.

“Hey. Eyes off my man.” Christophe scolded with a frown.

“Sorry… He’s not really my type, good ass and back, but not really my type.” Phichit assured Christophe.

“Good. Because he’s mine and if you try anything you’ll wind up like the last one.”

“The what?” Phichit asked, eyes widening.

“How about that prank I’ve been assigned to? Let’s get on that, hm?”

“Okay, but this whole last one thing is freaking me out.”

“Christophe, if you’re using Manon to scare Phichit, it’s not going to work.” Marc called from the bathroom. “She was my ex and my ice dancing partner. She’s married with a baby now, you have nothing to fear.”

“Marc, you’re no fun.”

“I can be plenty of fun and you know it.”

“So!” Phichit grinned awkwardly, clapping his hands. “The prank.”

“Yes, the prank.” Christophe smiled warmly. “What schemes have you cooked up in that pretty little head of yours.”

“Well…” Phichit paused, looking at his phone. “The prompt is BFF bullshittery.”

“Have you planned anything for us?”

Phichit shook his head. With all the stress and tension of the free skate, Phichit hadn’t had time to think on what kind of prank to pull on Viktor and Yuuri, he was too worried about the two even remaining together to think about pranking them.

“Considering how they were before, that’s understandable.” Christophe shrugged, standing up the rifle through his closet, pulling out a large black case and setting it on the bed next to Phichit, unclipping the latches on the case.

The case opened with a click, revealing a dark red velvet interior surrounding a brass saxophone. Christophe pulled the instrument from the case, plucking various parts Phichit couldn’t name and affixing them to the glimmering instrument.

“I’m not even going to ask.” Marc sighed, taking a bundle of clothes from the neatly folded stack on the bed.

“And you said I wouldn’t have a use for Gerard.” Christophe smirked smugly, earning a huff from Marc.

“Um. Gerard? Who’s Gerard?” Phichit asked, confused.

“His stupid saxophone.” Marc grumbled, walking back into the bathroom.

“Gerard isn’t stupid, Marc, he’s my weapon of mass destruction.” Christophe said pointedly.

Phichit furrowed his brows. Clearly, he wasn’t prepared for the full extent of Christophe Giacometti’s madness. But then again, he did live with Yuuri in Detroit for five great, hectic years, so he assumed he could manage to a degree.

“Okay!” Phichit said brightly, clapping his hands. “So, how is Gerard supposed to aid us in our prank?”

“Well, the prank is BFF Bullshittery, non?” Christophe asked.

“Yes?”

“Have you heard of the song Careless Whisper by George Michael?”

“I think so… I’m not sure.” Phichit frowned, shrugging. “He wasn’t that big in Thailand.”

“15 years in international competition and I’m still not used to the cultural gaps.” Christophe sighed. “It has a [very famous saxophone riff](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kas6akz1jWU) which becomes kind of annoying when played on a loop, which is mainly why I learned it. And while Viktor loves Careless Whisper, the sax riff pisses him off and it’s all my gracious doing.”

“So, what do you propose we do with this irritating instrument of torture?” Phichit asked, sitting back.

“First; don’t call Gerard an irritating instrument of torture, he is my baby, second; I was getting to that. What I propose we do is that we hide in their closet, in their room, until they arrive, then we burst out and ruin whatever moment they’re having with Careless Whisper.”

“Oh!” Phichit said excitedly. “Like that [Jon Hamm skit on SNL!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZNno63ZO2Lw)”

“Which one?” Christophe asked, brow scrunching in confusion.

“The sax guy one? The one where Andy Samberg breaks a talisman and he’s cursed to have a sexy sax guy called Sergio ruin his life?”

“Yes!” Christophe said, snapping his fingers. “That’s perfect!”

“Christophe Giacometti, you’re a fucking genius.”

 

 

By some miracle, during the banquet Christophe had happened to swipe Viktor’s hotel card from his pocket without Yuuri ripping off his hand, peridot coloured eyes glinting in a similar fashion to a cat’s in the dim hallway lighting as Christophe unlocked the plain door. As he pushed the door open, Phichit had noticed a wide, almost manic Cheshire-like grin on the older Swiss man’s features, following him into the darkness of the room.

Christophe quickly flicked the lights on, setting the case of his saxophone on the bed and cracking it open excitedly, pulling the glimmering instrument from the case.

Phichit kicked the door closed, pulling his phone out of his blazer pocket and opening up Instagram.

“Should I start the stream now?” Phichit asked.

“Probably.” Christophe shrugged, quickly placing the case in the closet. “We have no idea whether they’re going to be three hours or three minutes.”

“Judging by how handsy they were getting, I’d say it’s not long.” Phichit murmured.

“I wouldn’t be too sure.” Christophe murmured, tugging the sheets to remove any crinkles or crease. “Considering Yuuri was practically dry humping him in public last year, we have no idea.”

“Ah, but that may be where you’re wrong, my dear Christophe. That was drunk off his ass Yuuri. The Yuuri now is sober Yuuri, and he’s been refusing drinks all night, so we don’t really have a gauge of how long they’re gonna be, but knowing Yuuri my bet is around two minutes.”

“I’m going to hold you to that…” Christophe replied. “Start the stream?”

Phichit nodded, activating the livestream function on Instagram, watching the count of viewers climb steadily.

“What’s up everybody!” Phichit greeted happily, smiling at the camera. “Tonight, I am here in Viktor and Yuuri’s room with Christophe Giacometti for our finale of the prank cam! Say hi, Chris!”

“Hi.” Christophe waved. “Phichit, dear, are you going to introduce our prank?”

“Right. So, Chris here has a saxophone, and if you lovelies are familiar with the sax riff from the beginning of Careless Whisper, we’re basically gonna surprise out loving couple with this while hiding in their closet.”

**RippMyAss: ngl kinda seems dull for a finale tbh**

**AshyAsh: ye but vik hates that sax riff**

**KareBare: Please no nsfw there are kids watching**

“I can’t promise how, um, family friendly this is going to be, but we can hope?” Phichit shrugged, pausing when he heard footsteps approaching the door.

“Phichit.” Christophe hissed. “In the closet, now!”

“But I’ve been out for 5 years, you can’t silence me!”

“Now is not the time for closet humour.” Christophe sighed. “Get in.”

Phichit nodded, stepping into the closet, switching his camera from the front to the back as he closed the doors.

In a tangle of limbs and designer clothing, Phichit watched through the thin gap in the doors as Viktor and Yuuri stumbled into the room, a mess of laughter and passionate kisses.

_Oh boy. Yuuri, Viktor, please forgive us._

“Mm, Yuuuri~” Viktor hummed, running his hands through Yuuri’s hair. “It’s been a year and now I can finally have you. ~”

“You already have me, silly.” Yuuri giggled, resting his forehead against Viktor’s and kissing him gently, guiding him to the bed.

Phichit sent a cautionary glance to Christophe, who promptly pulled out his phone and started typing. Phichit glanced down onto the screen.

**AltaGrace: oooooh cuties**

**TerriTuberdize: Publicity stunt calling it**

**c_giacometti: Just so you all know; if this starts to get too sexual, we will end the stream.**

**KareBare: ty chris ;-;**

**RippMyAss: u gotta be fuckin kiddin me chris**

**c_giacometti: It’s a violation of privacy and non-consensual voyeurism. I know I can be inappropriate but it’s a charade and I respect other people’s privacy.**

**KareBare: ty uncle chris**

**c_giacometti: Oh Lord am I actually old enough to be a skating uncle now?**

**Adaripp: Chris you get used to it as the years fly by.**

A gasp sounded, Yuuri pulling away and shedding his tie and blazer.

“Careful now, Vitya, you have been naughty.” Yuuri hummed.

Phichit glanced in Christophe’s direction, mouthing; ‘Now?’

Christophe shook his head, chewing his lip.

“Naughty? How, solnyshko? Care to elaborate?”

“You said that you’d only kiss gold…” Yuuri murmured, slipping off his white dress shirt, belt clinking as he removed it from his fitted slacks. “Such a shame this set is silver.” He tutted, dropping his slacks to reveal silver lingerie.

From the looks of it, all the blood in Viktor’s body was stuck between rushing both north and south as he ran his hands reverently over Yuuri’s body.

“Kid’s got balls.” Christophe noted with a hum, barely audible.

“Should we run?” Phichit asked, watching Yuuri push Viktor onto the bed, leaning closer against the door.

“We should end the stream…” Christophe murmured softly.

“Yeah, you’re ri- WHOA!” Phichit cried, tumbling out of the closet onto the floor.

“PHICHIT?!” Yuuri screeched, face flushed bright red.

“Um. Congrats on the medal?” Phichit laughed nervously, sitting up to see Viktor’s eyes widen.

“Christophe Giacometti, if you _dare-”_ Viktor began, voice laced with venom.

“Run.” Christophe said, putting the mouthpiece to his lips.

Phichit nodded, bringing himself to his feet, grabbing his phone and sprinting out of the room, camera shaking and adrenaline pumping in his veins.

“MOTHERFUCKER!” Phichit heard Viktor shout as the soft crooning chords of the sax filled the halls.

“Well. That’s, um, it, forever, I’m gonna run for my life now okay bye!” Phichit said quickly, catching a glimpse of Yuuri in the corner of his screen, quickly ending the stream.

“PHICHIT CHULANONT I AM GOING TO SKIN YOU ALIVE!”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ur comments fuel me i am v. depressed and it helps me get out of bed in the morning  
> tumblr: nerdqueensblogbitches.tumblr.com

**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr: NerdQueensBlogBitches


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